Cross

If you ever read this,

I hope you are my friend.

It gets deep.

Early on, after the initial wooing,

they raped me.

That's what I call it.

There's been a side to this

which is not to the sensibilities,

or morals, of people.

I get sodomized regularly.

They also suck my dick.

I sometimes remember to offer it all

to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

The language I use...

I'm glad I live alone.

The shouting, the hygiene,

it starts to become evocative

of some ancient bloody sacrifice,

with very little blood involved.

Putting it all together,

it's sometimes a life

of death by a thousand cuts,

a slow disintegration,

but with breakthrough moments,

and comfort from Above.

They also twist my insides,

particularly my intestines.

I just don't want 

people to think

this is fun.

Depending on how you look at it,

it's Hell

or a Cross.